As I write this I can barely keep my eyes open. Immediately upon completion of this blogpost, I will put my kids into bed and fall into the sack myself.

What a week! I had a blast trying to come up with stuff to fill up your brains. I can’t wait for the Olympics. My girlfriends are discussing a girls trip out to Vancouver (oh my GAWD). We’ll see, I think my husband and kids are attention-starved right now. The good news is, there is NO curling this week to distract me.

Here’s a final pic from my camera… in the midst of the Team Cheryl Bernard fan club, who dressed up to the nines in their black-and-whites.

Thanks to my editor, gk, for being pretty much unavailable and for making me want to gouge my eyeballs out. However, I did have fun and enjoyed hearing ‘What’s up Playah!?’ from my friends in the Patch.

Congrats to The Curling News on a fantastic new web site… and don’t forget to check out the @curling Twitter feed (gk and I have a relationship eerily similar to John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston; he spends more time twittering than discussing curling with me.)

I also got a Facebook message from TCN yesterday; apparently there’s a super subscription deal on, but only until the end of… tomorrow, as in December 15.

Subscribe before the end of the day and get three extra issues tacked onto your subscription, and if you happen to give a gift subscription, gk and co. will mail a special card to the recipient, in time for next week’s holidays, naming you as the gift-giver. Not bad.

So why not just give’r! Head to the website for the PayPal thing, or ring them at 1-800-605-CURL (or +1 905 887 1261).

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by Margo Weber

EDMONTON – There comes a time when we have to put the actual curling skills aside, and state the obvious.

As we have mentioned before, this is not a fashion show… but at these 2009 Roar of the Rings Olympic Trials, it seems the women in particular have been preparing in a big way.

There’s the TV time. There’s the big crowds. Let us ponder, for one moment, what it would cost to come and look your best while competing at such an event. A few hundred dollars, in some cases?

I’m pretty sure some entire teams got makeovers within the last week or two. There’s some serious French manicures out there. There is not one natural strand of hair in sight when the women take the ice (except perhaps on Amber Holland).

But they’re looking good! As a whole, this sport has come a long way. Gone are the days of Cathy King’s huge plastic earrings. Good job, ladies. And good on Mondetta for the attire the players are sporting. I’d say the outfits are flattering on most.

Let’s talk about the earrings. I think Kelly Scott has more piercings in her little ears than my entire six person family. Kim Schneider, from Holland’s squad (CCA photo by Michael Burns) has some seriously huge hearts dangling from her lobes.

Regarding the hair. I’ve been waiting for some of the skips to tie back their hair a bit, I got it Wednesday morning when both Crystal Webster and Cheryl Bernard ponytailed it up. Previous to that, I was thinking about leaving a little bag of ponytails behind each sheet.

I realize that although most skips don’t partake in sweeping duties… I think it’s their duty as players… possible future Olympic athletes… to look like athletes….to convince people that this is indeed a sport. Maybe we could start with a bobby pin or two… just put the frickin’ hair back so you can see where you’re going!

I’ll leave the men alone… for now. I see no harm in the crazy white belts the Glenn Howard team insists on wearing. As for the hair, I do applaud the Kevin Koes and Jonathan Meads for not fighting with nature and just shaving it all off. Nice work, boys.

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 by Margo Weber

Okay Cheryl Bernard, the day isn’t even over and you know you’re my girl.

You are the leading lady of the story that is unfolding before our eyes. You are having a great week, and just seem to be in the zone. You know how to squeak out these wins, and now you just need one more to guarantee a bye into Saturday’s final.

Now, the whole Playah of the Day concept allows me to only pick people who are easy on the eyes, and Ms. Bernard, you’ve got it covered.  You make me want to drop that last 30 pounds that have been nagging me, whiten my teeth and run to the nearest tanning salon. I also have to give a shout out to the ponytail you rocked this morning… super cute.

So… you’ve gone from perennial contender to now, possibly, a favourite to qualify for the Olympic Winter Games and wear the red and white. You made two awesome shots in your first game against Krista McCarville, won a very iffy measure against Amber Holland, had a solid win over Crystal Webster, wowed us against Kelly Scott and made a great little run back to beat Shannon Kleibrink in a wild game this morning. Now you’re all alone at the top of the standings at 5-0. Everyone else has at least two losses.

Girl, you go have a glass of red. You deserve it.

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by Margo Weber

Welcome to our first installment of Playah of the Day. We thought it would be a good idea to give props to the hard-working athletes out there and, in this forum, showcase talent both on and off the ice. Daily we will provide you, the reader, with our take on who the real superstar of the day is.

This person must be tearing up the sheets. This person must be showing mad skillz. This person must be hot enough to be the curling poster boy for The Bay’s Olympic apparel… okay, there’s only one guy that fits that description: Carter Rycroft.

The second for Kevin Koe – who are now 2-0 – rocked a stellar 94 per cent in today’s afternoon game against Jason Gunnlaugson. He makes this stuff look easy.

I knew this guy would be a curling superstar ever since we both played in the 1993 Alberta Junior provincials. Even then he had boyish charm, superb curling prowess and the desire to win.

Oh Carter, I’ll never forgive you for losing not once, not twice, but thrice to Les Sonnenberg only to send him off to the Pepsi Nationals whereupon he would be disqualified for drinking at a junior event.

Carter, we know you would have done the same thing. That’s why you’re our Playah of the Day.

[CCA photo by Michael Burns]

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When my old friend gk contacted me to see if I’d be interested in blogging it up at the Brier, I was, like, ‘Hells Yeah!’

A whole week at the Saddledome goofing around and showering the curling world with my crazy opinions?!

Alas, reality hits. I have a couple of young ones at home and this was not possible. Enter my good friend Dalene Heck who has been nothing short of fantastic. Definitely the Brier Media Rookie of the Year! I’ll never forget Crotch Cam, Stalkergate or the crazy games we played with our new media friends.

I have managed to go to a few games, hit the Patch in style (Oh my GAWD) and send in a post now and then. I’ve met people from across the country, reconnected with old friends, ate too many chicken fingers and had way too much to drink.

gk, hope we didn’t trash up your site too much. You kinda asked for it. xoxo

[Dalene says:]

Peace. Out!

And there you have it. Despite a final substitution when Jeff Stoughton ousted Glenn Howard in Saturday’s semi-final, the 2009 Tim Hortons Brier ended as many suspected it would – with a dominating win by Alberta’s Kevin Martin. What a thrill to be at the Saddledome and watch Martin’s foursome earn their second consecutive Brier, and in front of an excited hometown crowd!

A few weeks ago, if you would have asked me what I’d be doing the week of the Brier, I would have said that I’d be catching most of the games on TV while lounging in my giant-baby-one-piece-footed-pink-camouflage-fleece-pajamas. I never would have expected to meet so many great people (including a new BFF!), take so many pictures of crotches, become a stalker, become a stalkee, do an interview in the CBC Radio studios or help pick the All-Star team.

It’s been an incredibly fun week, that ended with a weekend of exciting curling moments. While I am sad to see it all come to an end, there are many things that I am looking forward to: sleep, spending time with hubby and the kitties, detoxification, sleep, reintroducing vegetables to my diet as a replacement for pocket dawgs, sleep, catching up on all my recorded TV shows, getting back on the treadmill, and sssssllllleeeeeppppp!

Thanks to everyone who helped make this experience what it was, especially my hawt partner in crime, Margo Weber! And to our hubbies for putting up with it all (XOXO).

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CALGARY – We have a SAY in this stuff?

I learned yesterday that fellow blogger Dalene Heck and I actually have a SAY in who will be on the Brier All-Star team.

Yep. The real one. Not the All-Star Hottie Team. Not the Sense of Ha-Ha Team. Not even the Best Belt Buckle Team. But indeed the real ‘You Can Curl and Should Be Awarded for it’ Team.

You see, the media get to vote on the All Stars. And, can you believe it, we are the media. Ha! Take that, players! Instead of the hardworking people out on the ice voting for their peers, we – the media – get to once again pass our judgement on the curling world. Yay for us!

We need to have our votes in by tonight and I’m super stoked.

I hope that there is no repeat of the Scotties fiasco, where the first and second All-Star teams were actually announced backwards. Both in the presentation at the arena, and for TV, The BC back end of Marla Mallett and Grace MacInnes were shown as first team All-Stars instead of second team. I was like WHAT!? Anyways, total error. Phew!

So, how is it possible that this is how the All-Stars are chosen? Someone enlighten me. Is this some sort of reward for the reporters, a slap on the back, if you will, for a job well done as we clog our arteries with arena food and spend way too much time away from our families? Either way… I’ll take it. I feel like kind-of a VIP. Ha!

Whatever the reason is, I plan not to waste my opportunity to help reward the entertainers we have been watching all week. I will review relevant information. Haircuts will not be used. Belt buckles will be unimportant.

I will use stats. I will pay more attention. Sweeping, judging, line calling, timely shotmaking and perceived team chemistry contribution may enter the picture. In the end, the guys with the best plus/minus will likely get my vote.

I vow to at no time use my hottie team as a reference. I vow to not drink and vote. And I vow to avoid the beloved media bench after posting this article. Except for you, Al Cameron. I will binocular you from my other seats, as per usual.

Wish me luck.

Editor’s Note: Following Margo’s nice words toward Al Cameron, we have joyfully lifted this photo from the Calgary Herald Brier webpages, located here. And a sweet photo it is, from shooter Dean Bicknell.

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TORONTO (Yes, Not Calgary) – Yesterday, Margo Weber pointed out the Dalene Heck scoop on Russ Howard The Broom-Bashing Maniac.

And the TCN Blog has another scoop for you today.

To preface, we point you once again to the Al Cameron story on the Russbash, and his reveal that a very naughty Brad Gushue will be paying a $150 fine – to the Sandra Schmirler Foundation – for saying bad things in his horrific loss to Ontario.

Brad actually said “Hit the guard, Gawddurnit” after third Mark Nichols gassed his peel, which was the third Newfie gakk of the 10th end.

We also direct you to this piece by the Canadian Press, which points out that bad boy Jeff Stoughton got an initial $1,000 fine back in the 2006 Brier – for accumulating offenses – which was eventually whittled down to some $250 or so.

Sorry, media boys. Your chump change amounts of athlete cash payments no longer register. Here’s our reveal.

The Canadian Curling Association is not fooling around. These boys, one and all, were read the riot act prior to the tournament and long before Russ could wind up for his tomahawk, BOOM! BANG! Both Gushue and Stoughton were fined $1,000, just like that.

Goosh was fined for the previously mentioned “Gawddurnit” and, while we haven’t yet heard what Stoughton’s offense was… suffice to say that sometimes Stoughton is just, well, Stoughton.

Russ may have received his notice already, or it might be coming today, but chances are he will get smacked. We shall see if the zebras take it easy on the living legend.

For you Saddledome observers: if you think you’ve spotted a chargeable offense, keep your eyes peeled to the carpet after the matches, where the officials gather. This is apparently when the notes are compared, and decisions are made.

For you TSN observers: sorry, you are S.O.L.

The CCA doesn’t release this info and has no intention of releasing this info. Unless, of course, this blogpost provokes some action on that front.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it, Media Benchers!

BOOM! BANG! CHA-CHING!

–––

UPDATE: There is flak coming back about the fines, with some Bench Boys insisting that official word on the fines is indeed similar to past years – $250 or so.

We like our sources, but the investigation continues …

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CALGARY – Fellow blogger Margo and I have been debating for the last few days over whether we are trashy enough to write a post about who our all star “HOT” team is.

We have decided that yes, we are that trashy. Hey, if Joan McCusker can blog about it for CBC last year, then why can’t we?

Here are our picks… which are surprisingly different. Note that our definition of “hot” goes beyond good looks and includes perceived personality, attitude, and in my case, resemblance to a Raging Bull.

Dalene’s All-Stars

Skip – Nova Scotia’s Mark Dacey it is. There’s something to be said for the intense, bad boy vibe he’s got going on.

Third – sorry J Mo. I know other bloggers have previously commented on your “movie star” good looks, but I’ve got a huge star crush on Robert De Niro, which makes my choice for New Brunswick’s James Grattan the only logical one available. See composite image of Bob the Babe and Jimmy The Kid above, and discuss my logic at your whim.

Second – Tough choice between Alberta’s Marc Kennedy and Saskatchewan’s Aryn Schmidt. I think I’m going to have to give the edge to Schmidt because I’ve never been a fan of blondes.

Lead – Gotta go with Ontario’s Craig Savill. I know, I know… first a car, now this. Can you believe it’s only been a couple of years since he wiped out and fell on the Hamilton Brier ice, to much derisive laughter?

Margo’s All-Stars

Skip – Jean Michel Menard, Quebec. He seems like such a nice guy and I tend to like guys with no hair.

Third – John Morris, Alberta. This was a tough one. Honourable mentions go to Jon Solberg of the NWT (er, should that be Yukon?) and Mark Nichols from Newfoundland.

Second – Brent Laing, Ontario. Again, I like the short/no hair. I’m not totally sold on this one. I’d like to demote a few thirds down to second for a week.

Lead – Mark Olson, British Columbia. He’s curling up a storm, which is always kinda hot. And he’s a baby-faced cutie too.

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When I weighed myself this morning I was three pounds lighter than I was yesterday morning. My intake for the day included one large malt, one piece of Hawaiian pizza and about 15 vodka and diet cokes.

Ugh.

So this is my post-patch update. I wish I could tell you I remembered it all. But I can’t… I started off the night playing “flips” with some friends. For those of you not familiar with this game, it’s a Brier Patch favorite.

Four people play odd-man-out coin flipping until there is only one person left. That person buys the round. I played five times and lost four. Do the math, people.

At $6.00 a drink that’s $96.00. My $80.00 budget for the night was no longer sufficient and I found myself at the Patch bank machine in no time. Needless to say, I stopped flipping and starting buying two drinks at a time for myself.

Fellow blogger Dalene Heck and I spent some time with Ontario’s classy Richard Hart (I think I’m coming around to cheering for Team Ontario, ha ha!) We also threw in a couple high fives with Craig Savill who looked like he was having a great time.

And we had a couple minutes to buy Jamie Koe of the Northwest Territories a Bud Light or two… he needed it after yesterday’s 0-2.

I ditched the morning draw in favour of hanging out with my family, but am on site at today’s action. Might make another Patch appearance tonight, although I can pretty much guarantee it will not be a do-over. Ouch.

Patch entertainment tonight? The Ryans, aka three-time Brier champion skip Pat Ryan (photo above) and his hawtie daughter Lynsay Ryan, who is an orginal Women of Curling calendar girl, too.

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